Motherhood is the Scariest Hood I've Ever Been To | Part Two | Evie's Birth Story
Sunday November 26th. I was so looking forward to this day. It was the day my mother-in-law held our baby shower for the Wolf side of the family and it was also one day away from being considered "full term". A milestone I was aching to reach.
You see, in addition to my rough pregnancy experience, (if you missed the story click here) there was also some history with my mother and her loss of two babies. Twice, approximately 6 months along, my mother had lost a baby boy and a baby girl. Her body just couldn't hang on any longer and the babies couldn't either once they were born. Because I follow in my mother's footsteps in so many ways I truly felt like this would happen to me and the OB had her concerns as well. So you can imagine making it to the end of week 36 was a huge relief.
With all these bumps in the road I also had MAJOR anxiety of the birth process. When I was little I remember watching a movie and the nurse saying "get the doctor in here, she is starting to tear" and was scarred for the rest of my life. To ease my fears I had this thirst to watch as many YouTube videos of labour as I could in order to get the most realistic expectation as possible.
After a full day of socializing and opening gifts I came home to an empty house and I got straight to organizing and putting things away. These were all the final items we needed before baby Evie arrived.
Around 9pm I finally settle into bed and start casting my favourite series, birth videos on YouTube. Only 20 minutes in all of a sudden it felt as if I had peed myself. Not something so abnormal at this stage of the game. I run into the washroom and see my pants are more wet than I would have expected and as I sat there a few more small bursts of liquid came. I immediately texted Mike at work and said "I think my water just broke". He responded with "yeah right babe. Nice try." But with some photo evidence I finally convince him enough for us both to start googling if your water can break over and over in small bursts. After reading a few posts I thought it might be best to drive myself to the hospital to get the fluid tested and assumed they would tell me it was just urine I could get back home. I hop in the car with my wet track pants in hand and head off.
Because of the time of night (approximately 10:30pm) Labour & Delivery reception wasn't open so I had to head down to Emergency. This is seeming way too "official" for just a leaky bladder. They didn't make me wait very long before getting me registered and back up to L&D. Once I was up there I was treated like royalty. It was a slow night, I was in a great mood and no pain so the nurses liked me. I get dressed in the standard hospital gown and get settled into the bed. One of the first questions I am asked was to provide my results of the Step B test. Which I hadn't even got back because it was too early. So the nurses decided they will try and hunt down the results. Meanwhile, Mike doesn't know whether to stay at work or wait for the swab results so his Chief just said, "hey, if you are going to go, do it now before we need to make a switch in the middle of the night" so off he went.
It only took about 40 minutes to get the results back. My water had broken. I was feeling zero contractions. The water bursts continued. The anxiety was non-existent. I was cool as a cucumber. The nurses spoke to me about a few options once they delivered the news. I could go home and hope contractions start naturally but I would have to be back by 7am the next morning and my other option was they could induce me that night. Hearing those words was jaw dropping. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This baby was coming no matter what. My time had run out. I asked if I could wait for my husband to arrive before making a decision. I had no idea what to do. I had no hospital bag with me. No plans arranged for anything. We were almost a month early!
As we waited for Mike, the nurses came back to tell me they could not find any results to my Strep B test. They started talking about how they would need to administer the antibiotics soon since my water had broke and the best course of action is to treat me as if I had tested positive. I had so many decisions on what I thought would be a relaxing Sunday night!
Mike arrives around midnight and we are left to decide whether to wait or start the process now. We decide to go back home, see if we can get some sleep, pack my hospital bag, and come back either at 7am or if the contractions start. But before I go I had to get the IV started with the antibiotics. Oh yeah, did I mention my fear of needles? Yeah, it's bad. Fainting on the regular. But I survived and live to tell the tale.
All filled with antibiotics and IV remaining in my hand Mike and I head home for one final restful sleep before baby. HA! Yeah right. Of course I didn't sleep. I tossed and turned the entire time. Wouldn't you?
7am comes quickly and we head out to the hospital. Still no contractions but the bursts of water continued. We arrive and get settled. The nurses buzzed around and got me hooked up to this and that and honestly I just waited. The clock was ticking to get things started since my water broke around 9:30pm the night before so they stalled as long as they could but ultimately I got induced around 11am on November 27th. I felt nothing for a long time. Nurses were saying to me that they were shocked that I didn't feel any contractions and they wrote it off as though I had a high pain tolerance. I was thrilled. Here I was about to give birth, the biggest fear of my life and I am being told I should be in some serious pain but wasn't. #Winning
It was about 3 hours later after several increases of oxytocin that I started to feel some pressure. I could handle it. I mean I was used to having the WORST cramps of life that would double me over in pain so severe I would be sick to my stomach and almost pass out. So this pressure I could do. Around that time the nurses let me know that they needed me to switch rooms as some maintenance needed to be done on the vents so out of bed I go. Shortly after the switch the nurse checked me to see how far along we were and it wasn't far. Maybe 1cm. Then the pain hits me. Ok, here we go. I breathed through the pain that was increasing with each contraction. I forced Mike to order some lunch because he hadn't eaten much that day (and I needed him in top form). Those next few hours were a bit of a blur. Increasing contractions and trying to get through them second by second. I started to fall apart. The pain was bad. Really bad and I wanted an epidural but I was only at the beginning of the process. Another nurse came to check and she said I was at a 5! Wahoo! She said I could get the epidural once the doctor confirmed. So the doctor comes shortly after and checks me. He tells me I'm only at a 3. The nurse was wrong. I LOST it. Tears came because I was already hurting so bad and didn't think I could do it. Mentally and physically. More blur after that. But I do remember Mike always next to me. Nurses flying in and out. And pain.
As more time passed and the pain unbearable I begged the nurse to have the doctor check me again. There was no way this pain only had me less than half dilated. There was no way. I finally convinced her and he came back and I got the happiest news ever. 6cm. No wonder it hurt so much! The anesthesiologist was able to come up within the hour and I literally cried happy tears when she got there. I was so nervous for it but felt like it was the best decision to help get through. I actually worked myself up so bad I was sick to my stomach but we got it done.
The pain went away within a few minutes. They did the ice checks and all was good. Time to sleep! After about 30 minutes of getting myself back to "normal" I feel a small contraction. I mention it to the nurse and she said it was normal. Then another. This time stronger. She reassured me the pressure was normal. This wasn't pressure though, it was pain. After maybe 5-6 more contractions they were now worse than before my epidural. It didn't take and the anesthesiologist was now in a procedure for the next few hours. I had to deal with it. The nurses assured me they would get her back once she was free. In the meantime, they tried upping the dose in hopes that would help. It didn't. Mike helped me with the gas. It took the edge off and that was enough to keep me going. Again, this period of time was just more working through the contractions second by second. I make it sound calm but it wasn't. Lots of begging the universe to ease the pain!
Around 8pm that night the doctor came in again to check me and he was shocked. I was 10cm. It took hours to get halfway and they assumed the same from there but they were wrong. It was time to start pushing. I cried more happy tears that the process was moving through the motions and end was near but then it hit me. I was about to have this baby with no pain meds. More tears. More fear. More gas. The nurses had changed shifts already once during my time there and all of a sudden another one walks in to cover for the current nurses' break. She immediately took the gas from me and said to me sternly, "you don't need that." I was in love. Yes. Tell me what to do. Boss me around. If you know what you are talking about I will listen and obey! This woman was an angel. She was direct, stern and encouraging. Exactly my kind of person. She warned me that because Evie was my first we were in for a long night. I accepted it and appreciated the honesty. So push one happens. Not so bad. I can do this. I asked if I did it right and she was shocked how well I did. Excellent. A task. Something to work towards. Let's do this. I couldn't tell you how many pushes through I was but everyone was in the room, including the doctor and they started telling me to stop pushing. Evie's heart rate was dropping. I stared at Mike not understanding. He stared right back at me and kept saying, "everything was ok, just breathe." Terrifying. I have no idea what they did to fix it but I was told I needed to get this baby out. Time to push like never before. I did.
After only 40 minutes of pushing. No drugs. No gas. No stitches. Evie was here at 10:20pm weighing 6lb 3oz. I was shaking so badly and repeating over and over "I did it. I did it." They placed her on my chest and I had no idea what to say or do. Evie picked up her head, looked at me and put her head back down. And then she peed on me. Thanks for making me laugh Evie. I needed that in that moment. I desperately wanted Mike to hold her so he scooped her up and sat in the chair nearby. I remember just staring at the two of them.
Only 45 minutes after having Evie Natalie, her mom Martha, and Mike's parents came to meet her. I was feeling great but ready to get some rest. It hit me like a ton of bricks that wasn't an option. I had been awake for 48+ hours with no rest in sight. I thought the labour was the part to fear the most but I was wrong. Oh so wrong. The next 3+ months were the hardest months of my life.
Part Three | The First 3 Months with Evie to be continued...
If you missed part one read it here MOTHERHOOD IS THE SCARIEST HOOD I’VE EVER BEEN TO | PART ONE | MY PREGNANCY